This is the longest I've ever gone since I started doing it. Which is great. It means (I hope) that I'm learning to cope with depression better, in healthier ways, but I can't forget that the ideal is to not have to cope with depression at all. I guess I'm also afraid that I have only replaced it with other unhealthy behaviors, but I don't think that's entirely true. I still miss it sometimes and I still dream about it every now and then, and sometimes I really, really want to do it, but it has gotten easier. I'm glad I don't do it anymore; it makes life less complicated and messy. I certainly couldn't have done it alone. People don't always realize how much they help.